How to keep a family intact part 2

continuation...


Nothing in this world stays permanently. Everything passes away. Beauty and earthly wisdom fade; lust and earthly love passes away. That is why, once the love of s husband for his wife fades, he begins to look for a more beautiful woman. After a while, he would tell his mistress to leave her husband and the two of them will live together instead. You see, that is very dangerous! Why? If that woman could afford to cheat her own husband, the more she could make a fool of you. If she finds a better-looking man, she’ll also drop you like a hot potato. There are women who are like that. But if you are wise, if you have a righteous mind, you will never give up your wife for the sake of a harlot. But these things happen because love is absent. But if you are bearing the love that is spoken in the Bible, that love will never fade. This is what I Corinthians 13:4-5 says—

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself.”

The family members should understand each other; nobody tries to outdo another. Nobody brags because love does not brag. If only all the members of the family would exercise humility, there wouldn’t be any trouble. Love “is not puffed up; love doth not behave itself unseemly.” The members of the family should respect one another’s right. Wouldn’t it be very nice if all the members of the family would learn to observe all these?

(I Co. 13:5) “… seeketh not her own …”

This verse is right precisely because you cannot find yourself in other people. Do not expect that other people will work the way you do. Do not expect that others can do things the way you do. If you do, you will only end up disappointed, or worse, angry. For this thing not to happen, let love live in your heart. Always remember, he is different, you are different. Perhaps, that is already the best that he could do. So, why be angry? If you love your fellow you will not be angry with him. You would be compassionate with him, instead. Let us continue I Corinthians 13:5-8—

“… is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things; endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge it shall vanish away.”

This is the reason why in I Corinthians 13:13, St. Paul came up with this summary: “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

Among the three, charity, or love, is the greatest. Therefore, if love is present in a household, envy will not find its way, even if there are 13 children in the family. If the mother bought one of her children toy because he passed in school, the others would not be envious of him. They were also bought toys when they achieve something in school. Instead of being envious, the children will just share each other’s toys.

Most of the time, a child gets envious of his brothers and sisters who had been given a present by their parents. Envy is common among men. But the Bible had taught me that I should be happy instead if the others have the things which I do not have. Why should you be envious? Remember, you are the one who should be giving him of that thing, yet, somebody has done it for you. You have been spared of an obligation, so, why will you be envious? Envy will not do anybody good. A family can find peace when the siblings are not envious of each other. Love should bind the family members together. The admonition is, “. . . put on charity, which is the bond of perfection.”

Do you know that the word “love” is very broad? Sometimes we even misunderstand it. What are we supposed to do if we love one another? What kind of love must we exercise? The love of a child for his parents is different from the love of a wife for her husband. Which love are we going to practice? Definitely, the love for a wife should not be rendered to your daughter. Otherwise, you might end up raping your daughter. And neither should the love for your wife be given to another woman. You would be an adulterer that way. And of course, the love of a child for his parents is another different matter.

However, the Bible speaks of a kind of love that is applicable to all. And this is the holy love, or agape. This is the love that Colossians 3:14 says—

“And above all these things, put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”

This is the kind of love that is void of hypocrisy. This love is not superficial. This is the love that is not easily provoked . . . this is not envious. It seeks not her own; it is selfless; it is forgiving and enduring. It believes all things, hopes all things, and bears all things. This is the holy love that the Bible teaches. And this is the kind of love that we should give to each other. If you possess this love, you will no longer be annoyed of your neighbors. You would even learn how to love your enemies. No members of the family would quarrel anymore. The husband would love no other woman but his wife, and the wife would not flirt with another man. The parents would love their children, and the children would love their parents in return. If this is the atmosphere that prevails in a family, there would practically be no room for strife. Let us read Christ’s admonition on how we should deal with our enemies. Matthew 5:44—

“But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

You are not just going to love your enemies, but you should also pray for them. Now, if you are being admonished to love your enemies, the more reason you have now to love your family. But you know, there are people who do not love their families. There are husbands who prefer spending time with their peers instead of their families. After working for the whole week, come pay day they are with their friends – drinking. When they go home, nothing is left of their pay. Apparently, they love their friends more than their family. A husband seems to have forgotten that his wife has long been waiting for his pay because she has to pay so many financial obligations. When her husband comes home drunk, a quarrel inevitably takes place. Hence, the solidarity of the family is threatened.

A husband who loves his wife would readily be worried if he comes home late. He is thinking if his wife is already hungry because they make it a point to eat supper together. That is why he is always in a hurry to come home. I’ve seen this practice from my own parents. My mother and my father always ate together. Actually, they never ate just the two of them. We always ate together, and my father always led the prayer before we start eating.

It is always nice that the whole family eat together. During mealtime, you could feel the love of the family for one another. This is one occasion when members of the family could help each other. One would set the table and the other would wash the dishes. That way, before going to sleep, no plate would be left unwashed in the lavatory. My mother hates leaving dirty plates in the lavatory. My grandmother, on the other hand, was very strict. She didn’t want to see a morsel of food wasted. She used to give us pinch that is equivalent to the number of morsels of food left on our plates.

Anybody who fully believes the doctrines of God could always apply those doctrines in his daily life. The siblings will learn to care for each other. It is but natural that siblings quarrel occasionally but no amount of quarrel could change the fact that they are brothers and sisters. There are couples who only have two children but despite that, these two still quarrel. I came from a big family. We are eight in the family, and I am the seventh. And I am truly thankful to God that until now our family has remained intact. What makes me happier is that all of them are with me in my service to God. Wherever I go, they are also there. This is the reason why I believe that, once a family possesses the kind of love that the Bible is teaching, that family will never fall apart. The husband and the wife will always help and support each other.